it has been the fastest two weeks of my life and if I had to sum up the experience thus far it would be “beautiful chaotic exhaustion.”
seriously though, this shit is hard. harder than anyone ever can tell you, because it’s hard in a way that is so beautiful and pure at the same time that you probably forget how hard it is after the fact, or at least don’t focus on that part. I don’t want to focus on it either, but I think acknowledging and recognizing the hard is so important because as a new mom, hearing the reassurance that these first few weeks ARE SO HARD from a more seasoned mom was so validating and reassuring for me.
luckily for us, the hardest part were the first three days. Tim and I agree that day three was our turning point, where we really just got more confidence, we started to learn more from Ellie J about her preferences, and in all reality, started getting more sleep. I never ever realized how important sleep was until having a baby, but wow, it makes a world of difference.
the first three days your body isn’t the same, your hormones are all out of whack and plummeting and then rising and throwing you so many curve balls. Your body is literally exhausted from birth, you are mentally and physically drained and sometimes, your baby who slept beautifully at the hospital comes home the first night and decides she doesn’t want to sleep at all, instead wants to stare at you, eyes wide open.
You will figure it out, mama. And even if you don’t, even if there is no answer, you will get through it. You and your family, together. You were meant to be that baby’s mama, and you are doing a great job.
I am so blessed that despite the rollercoaster of the first few days, I had such an amazing support system — first and foremost, my husband, who recognized my exhaustion and would handle all the overnight responsibilities so I could get some sleep.
next, incredible family who checked in, brought meals over or picked things up at the store, gave us company, reassured and supported us. it truly takes a village!
lastly, the incredible midwife who delivered our baby, who I talked on the phone with several times the first few days after coming home, who actually texted me to check-in and was just the sweetest soul and most encouraging voice of reassurance when I really began to question how I was going to do this all and the nerves crept in. I was super blessed that physically, my recovery was very quick and rather pain-free, but mama, your mental health is just as (if not MORE) important those first few weeks, and it’s so important to have the right doctor and the right resources to help you be the best mama you can be.
After two weeks, I feel equally drained and so entirely fulfilled. I feel like a bundle of energy despite hardly ever leaving the house (couch), still anxious about the normal, mom things but so entirely at peace. I feel more than anything, gratitude and appreciation. I absolutely love cuddling on the couch with my little girl, reading books in her nursery, watching her eyes look around and take in the big new world.
I want to look back on these first two weeks of becoming a new mom — the fastest two weeks of my life! — and remember yes, they were hard. Yes, they were somewhat chaotic, exhausting.
but they were beautiful, they were part of our story, they were days that I will never forget, despite probably remembering them more fondly than I did in the moment.
yes, you can acknowledge the whole picture, the good and the bad, and still hold it so close to your heart. it’s not at all what they make it seem, no one can ever prepare you or give you advice that makes you truly understand, being “prepared” for the first two weeks is such an illusion... and that’s all okay, mama.
to my sweet Ellie Jo, thank you for your patience (okay, except at meal times, when you aren’t the most patient) with me as we trial-and-error this whole parenthood thing. We may not always have it figured out, but one thing is for sure — your mama (and daddy!) love you more than anything in the world, and we can’t believe you are two whole weeks already! we equally wish time would slow down and you’d stay our little baby forever all while being excited for your future and to help shape you into the strong little girl you’ll grow to be.
soak in every moment, at every phase and stage of life — time goes quick!
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